Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Unforgivable Things My Husband Has Done

Today is my husband's 40th birthday.  He doesn't look a day over 39.  In honor of this momentous birthday, I'm going to share with you some of the unforgivable things my husband has done to me... this is how we celebrate in our house.


Handsomer even than Robert Redford.

1)  Last Thanksgiving, he wanted cooked cabbage.  Since it reeks to high heaven, he cooked it in a crockpot in the garage... while my car was also in the garage.  Would you believe that my car still smells like cabbage?  UNFORGIVABLE.

2) He recently taught our oldest son how to burp.  The cacophony of belching I hear on a daily basis is getting out of hand.  UNFORGIVABLE.

3) He never asks probing questions of people when something interesting happens.  Take the following exchange as an example:

Hubs: "Bill said his wife left him."
Me: "What? Oh my gracious, what happened?"
Hubs: "I don't know."
Me: "Well, is Bill OK?"
Hubs: "I don't know."
Me: "Well, are they getting a divorce?"
Hubs: "I don't know."
Me: "For crying out loud Dave, what else did he say?"
Hubs: "He was hoping the Packers would make it to the Superbowl."

Sweet. Gravy.  A woman would have asked the important questions.  UNFORGIVABLE.

4) He plays terrible pranks on me.  This one time, when he worked for the cable company, he called me on a job and asked me if the cable was working.  I told him it was just fine... then I heard a click.  HE TURNED OFF THE CABLE TO AN ENTIRE SUBDIVISION JUST TO TICK ME OFF.  What kind of person would turn off cable, in the middle of The Maury Povich show, no less, just to irritate his wife?  I never did find out if that guy was that baby's father.  UNFORGIVABLE.

5) He can eat whatever he wants and he never gains an ounce.  Seriously, it's like he gets thinner the more he eats.  Meanwhile, I'm contemplating getting my own zipcode, I'm getting so big.  UNFORGIVABLE.

Despite all these things, I love my hubby... and he's just as thin and handsome at 40 as he was at 20... except for the mullet.  He had a mullet at 20.  There... the secret is out.

Happy birthday, Dave!
Thrifty Crafty Girl
I link up at these great parties!

13 comments:

  1. Love this! Happy big 4 0 Dave!

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  2. This made me laugh! So funny! Happy bday to your husband! :)

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  3. Happy birthday to your hubby. He sounds like a great guy. hehehe

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  4. You crack me up. Happy Bday to the hubs and tell him, welcome to the club.;)

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  5. Happy birthday Dave! I am sure Priscilla makes turning 40 much easier...you know, with how funny she is. You are one lucky man :)

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  6. Happy birthday! Haha, great post! What is it with guys and not asking questions eh?? Also, what is it with burping? GROSS! :)

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  7. This was great! hahahaha! Funny.
    Judy

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  8. Oh Priscilla, I had to laugh at the burping thing. Hubs did the same thing with my kids. He also taught them, that when he passes gas, that there is a frog under the table! Then he laughs! He still thinks it's funny, and so do they. My youngest is 22. Ugggg! Gotta love a guy with a sense of humor though! Happy Birthday to Dave!

    Hugs,
    Debbie

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  9. This post made me laugh out loud! I am so glad you linked up to the Mingle With Us Blog Hop so I could find you...newest follower here! :)

    Tonii
    www.ptskjohnson.blogspot.com
    Blue Skies Ahead

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  10. Happy Birthday Dave! I am so glad I found your blog through the blog hop. I love love love this post and cant wait to read more. :)

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  11. I have a lot of the same 'conversations' in my house! This post is great!

    New Follower from Huckleberry love - found you through the Blog Hop

    Karla
    http://www.huckleberrylove.com/

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  12. Go Pack Go! Hopefully this year! Lol

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I love all the comments I get from you! Because of an insane amount of spam, I had to turn off anonymous commenting but I'd love it if you'd comment anyway!

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