For our final edition, we're discussing balloons.
There are so many uses for these little babies... let's get started, shall we?
1. Civilized societies don't live without balloon bouquets. I'll be darned if we're going to let the zombies turn us into animals.
2. Fill up some balloons and put them into your satchel. If you find yourself short of air, you've got your portable air bags with you. GENIUS.
3. Balloons are the universal way to alert people that there's a PARTAY OVAH HEEEAAA! I am so hip to today's lingo.
4. You can blow up some balloons and set them out in the yard. You'll hear them pop when the zombies approach, like a little warning alarm. Also works for in-laws.
5. Summers just aren't the same without a good ol' water balloon fight. Stock up and you'll have an artillery that every frat boy in the world will envy.
6. When the end of the world happens, you'll need to be creative about finding a new career, especially since your boss got eaten. Figure out how to make those balloon animals and hire yourself out to parties. Remember me when you make your first million.
7. If you need to perform an emergency appendectomy on yourself, you'll need some sterile hand wear... balloons over each finger and you'll survive to tell the tale.
8. Balloons are great for target practice, and you'll need target practice, what with all the bloodthirsty undead around... or pushy salesman. For the last time, we're not interested in your zombie-attracting spray.
I've enjoyed our time together survivors. I hope you enjoy the holiday series coming up... who knows, maybe a zombie will pop in now and then. :)