Monday, July 9, 2012

Apocalypse Monday - Toothpicks

I am overwhelmed by the amount of emails and comments I get from Apocalypse Monday posts.  It's awesome that you're all reading, mostly because I don't want you to be zombie kibble when it all goes down.  Thanks for tuning in and continue to keep an open eye for the undead. 

Toothpicks.  These are easy to stock up on: they're small and cheap and ever-so-necessary to survive the apocalypse.  Here's why:

1.  Gum health will be extremely important after the apocalypse hits.  Dentists will be few and far between, so we need to take our oral health seriously.  Keep the toothpicks handy for when a piece of granola just won't budge and you've finally run out of dental floss.

2.   Did you know that zombies walk around barefoot?  And in raggy clothing, which I find strange.  I mean, the JC Penney's is totally abandoned... couldn't the zombies stop in for some new threads every now and then?  At any rate, their ignorance to fashion will be your benefit if you stick a bunch of toothpicks in your yard.  They'll be like little pointy land-mines.

3.  Darts.  Yes, the old bar game you used to play when that one guy was trying to convince you he wasn't a jerk but he really was, will be so much fun when you've got nothing else to do.  Make yourself a target out of discarded boxes and send those toothpicks a-flying.

4.  Did you ever build tiny little log cabins with toothpicks? No?  Well, when the zombies are everywhere and you're looking for something to do, you'll thank me for telling you that you can build tiny log cabins with toothpicks.

5.  Buy the pointy toothpicks instead of the flat ones and you'll never have to worry about anything stuck under your nails again.  And a girl's nails gotta look good, even during the apocalypse.

6.  You could make a teeny bonfire for your Barbies with some round toothpicks.  The Barbies have to stay warm too, you know.

 7.  You'll need toothpicks for serving hors d'oeuvres.  I REFUSE TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE I HAVE TO EAT A MINI PIG-IN-A-BLANKET WITHOUT A TOOTHPICK.

8.  Now, I know that all of you will still be crafters after the apocalypse.  Why, if the internet stayed up at least, I can predict linky parties called 'craft-pocalypse', or some such nonsense... make a teeny little faux garden and use the toothpicks to make little plant markers.  IT WILL BE SO ADORABLE YOU'LL FORGET ABOUT RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE.

9.  Martinis will be very 'in' once the zombies are here.  You'll need the toothpicks to spear your olives, otherwise people will think you're uncool and they won't invite you to their parties.

10.  Use the toothpicks to send messages to your friends.  The zombies can't read, so when you spell out words on concrete, they'll be totally mystified.  And there's nothing better than a mystified zombie.

Until next time survivors,

Thrifty Crafty Girl
I link up at these great parties!


  1. #6 is my very favorite mostly because playing Barbies is a daily thing around here. Thanks for staring my morning out with a few chuckles :)

  2. Another great item and ways to use it!!!!

  3. hahaha - I just don't know how you keep thinking up these things. Are you sure you aren't a zombie in a crafter body?


I love all the comments I get from you! Because of an insane amount of spam, I had to turn off anonymous commenting but I'd love it if you'd comment anyway!

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