Wednesday, June 6, 2012

What I've Learned Wednesday - Mean Comments

If you're following me on facebook, you might know that I received my first mean comment this weekend.  Really.  And I think I was supposed to be all down about it... but I sort of giggled a bit.  And then a lot.  And then my sides started hurting so I thought about sad stuff to collect myself.

At first, I just deleted the comment and thought I wouldn't address it at all.  I mean, it was anonymous (she evidently had the lady-grapes to call me 'hefty' but not to leave her name, nice) so I certainly couldn't respond to her.  And all those haters want is attention anyway, so why address it, right?

Wrong.  Oh, so wrong.  I kind of need the last word on most things.  Instead of pretending it never happened, I'm shining a light on the hate and sharing it with you.

Here's a screen shot of the email with the comment in it:


For those of you who can't read that (I tried to make it bigger but it wasn't meant to be), here's the translation:


Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Cherry Crobbler":

every pat of butter is 100 calories. i counted 18. so, that's 1800 calories in butter. the whole package of cake mix is 1000 calories. there are 680 calories in a whole can of cherry pie filling. so, technically, the entire pie is 3480. divided by 6 pieces is 580 calories a slice. that's if you really stick to eating just one slice. add in a scoop of vanilla ice cream tacks on another 150 to 200 calories.

oh yeah. you're a real thrifty, crafty, hefty girl.

better to have used real cherries, just a pat of butter and a few teaspoons of sugar and topped it off with a crumble made from old fashioned oats and cinnamon.

moving on. outta here. yuck. 


Do you need to go back and re-read that or did the nastiness sink in already?  Feel free to go back... when you're ready, read on.

Let's just go line by line, shall we?

The box of cake mix is 1700 calories.  Shows what she knows.

In my world, that dish serves three people.  All of those people are me.

I am not 'hefty'.  I prefer the term 'plump'.  In yesterday's post, you can see a picture of me.  Not my face though, which is where I store most of my fat.

This next line is the only thing I won't argue with: I'm not a healthy foods blog... if that's what you're looking for, you're in the wrong place.  I can recommend several for you, because there are THOUSANDS out there, but this isn't one of them.  In fact, in most of my recipes, I flat-out tell you that it isn't light or low-fat and if that's not your thing, you should know it before reading.  I try to keep it real as well as high-fat.  And if this recipe suggestion had been the only thing she wrote, this comment would have been PRODUCTIVE instead of cranky.  And I'm all for lighter versions of any recipe I put up here... not for me, the Thrifty Crafty Hefty girl, but for other readers who share your healthier eating sentiment.

And the last line... you're moving on? Outta here? Yuck?  Well, that is a shame, since I'll miss all your sweet comments.

Really though, I don't want to see anyone upset by any of my posts... I'm not happy that this reader won't be back... but I can't please everyone.  I never claimed to be a healthy food blog.  I also did not stick a gun to this reader's ribs and force her to make this recipe and eat it.  At least, I don't think I did... sometimes I forget stuff.

So here's what I've learned for today:  You will not please everyone.  This person CLEARLY has bigger issues than a fat-filled recipe on a blog.  Let's all say a few words of encouragement that this anonymous reader has a better day today than they did yesterday.  If you ever get a mean comment, remember that for every one of those you get, you have probably gotten hundreds of nice comments.  And if the haters still have you down, come to your ol' pal Prissy... I'll set you straight on how awesome you are.

Now, you'll have to pardon me.  I'm shoveling high-fat food into my mouth and must focus.




Thrifty Crafty Girl
I link up at these great parties!

39 comments:

  1. Way to make lemonade out of some sour lemons!! I love your blog...I think you are funny and I think in general the craft blog world is a very kind place. Maybe this sad girl just feels like an outsider and needs to be mean. So sad. But...sticks and stones...as the old saying goes.

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  2. You go, girl - shine the light on! I have a Youtube Channel so I am used to the anonymous hater. What is really really sad is when they put the hate comments on videos that include kids/babies.

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  3. ...and for the record - you are FAR from hefty!!!

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  4. I have to laugh too. I have gotten SO many rude negative comments on my youtube channel. Ya see, I'm also a freelance makeup artist and I'll get the MOST ridiculous comment from people that 1. don't make videos and 2. can't even have a picture of themselves on their channel. Funny how much freedom being anonymous can offer. On a side note, you are NOT, and I DO stress, hefty or plump. You look amazing : ) I love your site. Although I don't cook all the recipes you make, I find a way to change the ones that I do and they work for me. Keep up the wonderful work ~
    Deanna

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  5. Man, that makes me so mad. What exactly was her reason for this comment? I don't understand people at all. I'm glad you can laugh this off and write such a good post for the rest of us! Geesh.

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  6. Girl - don't let the haters get you down! I disabled anonymous posters on my comments because if you have something to say, put on your big girl panties and show your face! Glad you have such a positive attitude. Those people are just bitter because of your awesomeness! You have an amazing blog and I look forward to reading each of your posts! {{Hugs}}

    Jill @ Create.Craft.Love.

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    1. PS - I am nominating you for the Sunshine Award! Stop by my blog and check out what it's all about!

      http://jill-createcraftlove.blogspot.com/2012/06/sunshine-award.html

      Jill @ Create.Craft.Love.

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  7. Let me just say that I *WISH* I was as "hefty" as you!! You look like my GOAL weight! Geesh. JEALOUSY makes some people do the grumpiest things. Keep on smiling. You're adorable. :)

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  8. WHOA! HEFTY!? LMAO! Prissy you are faaaaaar from hefty. and for those who don't know Prissy in real life, she's even funnier and prettier in the flesh (:O). It's like.... the awesomeness is amplified or something. Anyway, part of what I reeeaaaally like about this blog is that it ISN'T all healthy all the time. I feel like moms get guilted if they aren't only serving organic healthy foods and if they aren't pushing the idea of perfection in every aspect of your life. You have to be thrifty, crafty, awesome, funny, AND skinny!? Geez!

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    1. Thanks for the support, Judy! I think negative comments on blogs say more about the commenter than the blog itself. This person is probably sad because we're so much more awesome than they are. :)

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  9. Dear Anonymous,

    Bloggers are a close knit group of people. We have each others' backs, no matter how hefty those back are {and our dearest Priscilla is far from hefty}. Most of us aren't getting paid to provide you this kind of awesome entertainment. Priscilla makes me laugh out loud ever day and had you taken the time to look around, you would have known your mean spirited comment was not going to get her down.

    So Anonymous, thank you for your comment because it provided another post here at Thrifty Craft Girl that made me laugh. You inspired a truly funny post.

    Priscilla, thanks for reminding us to not take blogging and hurtful comments to seriously. I love your perspective and hope to be as brave when one comes my way.

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  10. I have a theory that eating disorders and food obsessions are far more prevalent than we generally acknowledge. Lots of people know about bulimia and anorexia nervosa but there are many others, including orthorexia nervosa, in which people obsessively avoid foods perceived to be unhealthy (what I see behind some people who eat only vegan, or unprocessed food, or organic, to the extent they would rather starve than have a Big Mac). There are people as religious about food as, well, religion, and they go around accusing others of being sinners who will burn in hell with words like "hefty" (which, even if you were, would be no concern of anyone else's). I think they've created a world so constrained and miserable for themselves that they seethe with resentment at those who enjoy food. So don't give her another thought and eat what you like - I'm envious that you look so good without counting those calories myself!

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    1. ....hm. I know quite a few people what would fall into that category of being scared of certain foods. Interesting to know its pervasive enough to have a name.

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  11. Love your spirit and spunk!!! You made me smile and LOL in this post!! Sorry about the super rude comment though :( xoxo

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  12. Good grief! I wonder what her real issue was. Sometimes people say the meanest things for totally different reasons. Who knows. Best not to worry about her. But truly, if she felt that way, did she really need to say it? She sounds like an unhappy person, one who doesn't need to bog down the friendly attitude on your blog. And actually, her words make me want to go out and buy that dish of Culver's frozen custard I've been wanting. :-)

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  13. Egads!!!!!!! What a meanie. Comments like that annoy me- it's like bashing a TV show you don't like. SO DON'T WATCH IT!!! If you don't care for delicious recipes such as the Cherry Crobbler, THEN DON'T READ IT, DON'T PRINT IT, AND DON'T MAKE IT!

    Glad you weren't bummed by it- and like another commenter said, glad it inspired another very funny and witty blog post. Your blog is one of my favorites.

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  14. Pass me a fork....I'd be thrilled to share that treat with you!!! When I read something nasty I try to remind myself that people's comments usually reflect what's in their hearts. That's a comment from a sad, bitter, person who is CLEARLY craving sugar!

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  15. Ha, I love you for this! First off, who the f*** decides that all of that needed to be said in a comment?! I mean, I could understand someone thinking all of that, but how is it productive or useful at all to say it? Out loud? Gah. And second, I love your response because a) hilarious! and b) you didn't let it get you down. You're absolutely right that you can't please everyone, and you don't need to try. Plus, really, who makes a Cherry Crobbler when they are looking for low fat? If I were trying to eat healthy I'm not sure that'd be my go-to dish...

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  16. Some people have far too much time on their hands!! Glad you can see the funny side of such nasty comments and, like everyone else has said, you are far from plump or hefty :)
    Love your blog!
    Alison
    x

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  17. Hefty??? On what planet is "anonymous" residing? I think you look fabulous! I lost a very good friend to an eating disorder 11 years ago, 6 weeks before her 40th birthday because she was addicted to laxatives. She left behind her 2 children, who she was a stay at home mom to. If she had known that her desire to be skinny would result in her kids growing up without a mom maybe she would've stopped. I'll take a little muffin top and a few chins anyday over that!

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  18. Wow I wish I couldn't believe that someone was so mean but unfortunately I can. You are not hefty at all, I have seen your pics and I think you look great. I feel sorry for the anonymous coward with so little to occupy her time that she is hating on people out there living their lives and doing what they love. I love your blog, I often skip over the other bazillion blogs in my reader to see if you have posted, keep up the great work. BTW I just read an article saying that the fake stuff interferes with your natural hormones and makes you grumpy while the real stuff (butter) satisfies your craving and leaves you happy.

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  19. Haha, I love this post! Well done you! Also, 580 calories isn't that bad for a big hunk of cake! Jus' sayin'! (Sounds goooood!) Also, you're not hefty! :)

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  20. I recently had a very similar comment on a recipe I posted. And another one before that saying how much she didn't like my home! And of course both comments were anonymous. But I didn't erase them, instead I replied politely and some of my readers attacked her in words! In fact I found these comments so funny, since someone is willing to consume energy on bad words... to me this means desperately seeking for attention!

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  21. My mom has a photo of me eating butter with a spoon as a toddler. Though the thought makes me gag now, I can't imagine what Annonymous thinks of me. :)
    Priscilla, you are amazing and I thank you for being so nice. You were the very first one to post a comment on my brand-new, first-ever blog. Meant the world to me. :)

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  22. You always crack me up! And pleeeze ... you're not "hefty," or even "plump." The cobbler sounds delicious, and I won't feel the least bit guilty eating it when I get around to making it.

    You don't want people like that reading your blog anyway -- bad energy!

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  23. I absoluetly LOVE this because I received my first mean comment about three weeks after I started my blog and it was about me being too materialistic (which is so not true..at least I don't think it is) and I deleted it! I wish I could have had the guts to stand up for myself like you did! I think this post is awesome and I think your gorgeous! You have nothing to worry about! :)

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  24. Lady-grapes! LOVE IT. Love the blog. Love the anti-hate tone! To people who comments with non-productive mean things... I say listen to your momma -- if you don't have somethin' nice to say, don't say anything at all! And if you don't like what you see, go look at another blog, there are plenty out there. Leave this one for the lovers.

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  25. Just so you know, I (insert heart symbol here) butter.

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  26. Wow how rude, really she called you hefty, what the frock. :) I am hefty and short so that makes me extra hefty...I LOVE your blog...

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  27. So funny! :-) You don't even look hefty to me. This commenter clearly has no idea - butter's good for you. Hasn't she/he heard? ;-)

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  28. I have yet to receive a mean comment. I think you handled it well. The nerve of someone to leave a mean comment but to do it anonymously is a lack of balls. If you're going to say something, say it and stand behind it.

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  29. Funny how mean people never have enough courage to leave their names. Dont listen to a word they say.

    judy

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  30. And by the way - a stick of butter only has 810 calories not 1800 as she claims. If she is going to go to the trouble of counting pats of butter she should probably go to the trouble of being accurate in her insults. FYI a tablespoon of butter has 102 calories - a little closer to her claims, but there are only 8 tablespoons of butter in a stick. If you are going to get on a high horse like hers, I encourage correctness. Boo to the nasty anonymous chick!

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  31. ha ha,i love how you handled this.i come here mostly for your humor.remember paula dean is known for loving butter & look at how famous she is.i don't know what is going on lately but almost every single blog i read has had to deal with the mean commenter.i say bravo to all of u for making humor out of there meaness.maybe its just 1 person going to each 1 or maybe several different people.how sad that u have to come to these blogs and instead of being positive u choose to be rude & mean.if u don't like what u read then instead of being mean just stop reading.no one is forcing u to read them.i don't always comment but i love what i read but things like this make me want to scream.so i let my voice be heard.

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  32. I've been away from the computer for a couple of days, so imagine my surprise when I read this post! First, I was irritated and thought "I have to get on there and defend my girl". Then, I took a time out while I tried to figure out how to protect you and get even. But alas, I had to laugh! This person obviously has no clue :)don't like the blog, don't like the food? Move on, without spewing mean and hateful things. This person is obviously unhappy and wanted you to join her in being unhappy, but you got the last laugh. All she did was make an a** of herself and gave the rest of us something to laugh about. You are my hero and you know I have loved your blog from day one, so ignore (or humiliate, in a tactful way, of course) these kinds of people. You go, GIRL!!! Oh, and hefty? Whatever!

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  33. I too have been away from my computer so just saw this now.
    I love ignorance and arrogance, NOT!
    I love your blog and I hope you never have to deal with another hater.

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  34. Hi! I noticed you commented on my blog a while back. I stepped away from the blogging world for a little while and was just catching back up today. Thanks for the sweet comment on my daughter's bassinet. I came to check out your blog and love it. When I saw this post, I had to go find the cherry crobbler she was referring to...I'll start by saying that I'm not much for cherries, but I loved the idea...so I will be trying it with peaches or blackberries very soon! As for your anonymous commenter! I'm glad she's out and that she thinks it's yuck! Why share such a wonderful idea (and I'm sure very yummy idea) with someone that has such a negative attitude! Hugs sweet lady! Keep up your awesome blogging!

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  35. I can't imagine that person having friends. Really, wasting time to complain about the over estimated calorie count on a dish that was never proclaimed as healthy? I'm not into sewing (don't have the patience and I don't have a sewing machine). So when I see a sewing entry from any of my favorite bloggers, I scroll past it. Gee, imagine that. If one is into healthy recipes and stumbles upon a blog that posts recipes and crafts.... scroll past the unhealthy recipe. It's not rocket science. At all. I wouldn't waste my time composing an email like that. What a fonzanoon (Italian word meaning a person who farts in the tub and bites the bubbles). ;)

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  36. My sweet friend Amy from While Wearing Heels sent me over here with this link. In May, I published a post about a long distance baby shower that I organized for my SIL who lives far away from family and friends. Yesterday I woke up to a slew of hurtful comments telling me I was tacky, and expressing pity for my SIL, and how embarrassed they were for her. Until then, I had received only wonderful comments saying how thankful they were to see the post because they too had a loved one far away whom they wanted to shower with love! What's worse is I found that one person posted the link to my post on a popular pregnancy website, and so I tracked it back to the thread only to read a TON more terrible comments on my character and tactfullness, or lack thereof. Some of them even went out of their way, left the thread,and came over to be sure I knew how they all felt. It was hard to read. I was embarrassed. After a long morning of crying, I deleted the post. Maybe I shouldn't have, but the comments stopped. I TOTALLY agree with your post here and your viewpoint. It's a shame that someone doesn't just think in their head, "That's not for me." and move on. Why people feel the need to be so cruel is beyond me. Thanks for sharing your experience - and giving me the confidence to push past this! Sarah @ Dwell on Joy.

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I love all the comments I get from you! Because of an insane amount of spam, I had to turn off anonymous commenting but I'd love it if you'd comment anyway!

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