Monday, May 7, 2012

Apocalypse Monday - Scotch Tape

Before you go thinking I'm crazy, I want you to understand one fact, vital to your survival of the apocalypse: the difference between life and death in the post-apocalyptic world depends mostly on your supply of Scotch tape.

You can get tape for free or pennies when a coupon is paired with a sale... it's like 3M wants us to survive the apocalypse.

Behold, some of the reasons you'll be glad you stocked up on tape:

1.  The apocalypse will not put an end to birthdays.  When you get invited to little Timmy's birthday bash, being held in the bomb shelter in the woods, you'll be grateful you can wrap his present using your tape.  The present? Sticks to burn in the fire for warmth... it is the apocalypse, after all.

2.  You'll need to post a lot of signs warning the zombies about your extensive gun collection.  Use the tape to stick those signs to the door and rest easy.  That's assuming the zombies can read... better keep the gun handy just in case.

3.  When you're evading the zombies, you will inevitably tear your map or the love letter you keep for dramatic purposes.  Having tape handy will let you patch it up with minimal fuss.

4.  Tape is great for pinning your face into funny shapes.  While you're passing the time in hiding, you'll find hours of entertainment by taking long strips of tape and adhering them all over your pretty little mug.  My personal favorite is the tape-your-nose-like-a-pig's one.  Classic.

5.  You know that I loves me some decorating... what better way to pin up all those post-apocalyptic drawings than by using some tape?  You'll have an entire art gallery in your house before you know it.  Most of the art will look like zombies, but whatevs.

6.  Your husband will inevitably get mouthy after months on the run.  Use the tape to shut his mouth closed.  He'll thank you for letting him know he was so annoying.

7.  You'll need the tape to de-lint yourself.  There will still be garden parties after the world ends and you don't want to get caught with fuzz on your blood-stained outfit.

8.  I don't intend to let the apocalypse end my love of origami, and it shouldn't end it for you either.  Of course, since we'll be trembling with fear most of the time, the origami needs the tape to properly stick to its shape.

9.   There's nothing worse than running for your life and feeling your socks slip down into your shoes.  A little strategically-placed tape and your socks will stay in place nicely, allowing you to evade your predators in a comfortable fashion.

I expect all of you to stock up on tape ASAP.

Until next time survivors,
Thrifty Crafty Girl
I link up at these great parties!


  1. Of course, if you catch a zombie, maybe you can tape him to a chair :)

  2. LOL. And I can order from Amazon and get free shipping!! ;-)

  3. This is my favorite series! You are so darn funny and extremely clever, my friend.


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